darkness descends everywhere
outside the night prevails,
and in my mind
the storms rage.
the thunderbolts seems to be
the childs play
compared to
the game
my emotions are playing.
i never knew
i had so much of emotions left
after i had thrown them all.
emotions are nothing but
hindrance to human life,
the thorns in the
smooth sailing path.
i wanna get rid of them..
how ?i dont know.
where ?i dont know.
when?i know.
this very moment.
i guess i'm better
off without emotions.
i just want them to go away,
leave me alone ,
alone, all, all, alone...
5 comments:
The opening imageries of darkness and descending night suggest the gloomy environment that prevails. The thunder and storm symbolize the poet's inner turmoil. The most noticing thing in the poem is the choice of diction which is diversified: opening is poetic, the middle of the poem is prosaic and the culminating tone is very informal [use of ‘wanna’]. The concluding lines are deep, intensified by the poet’s urge to evacuate those emotion and remain all alone. The alienation is felt though the poet is full of emotional waves intrinsically.
A suggestion:
‘let me live in peace’ sounded little clichéd. It could be replaced by ‘ alone, all, all, alone---alliteration of that sort would have made that even more poignant!
ok done kore dichhi
Curse me - but please correct the small grammatical mistake in the 4th line - master manush, bhul to dhorboi :) ... but I differ with Brishtileena. Sometimes cliches are more worthy than what they seem. Let me be alone would have been more expressive of the state of the persona as we understand. But the promise of the opening imagery of the poem is somehow missing towards the end of the poem. Will you mind rewriting it?
thanks bhul correct kore dichhi......amar personal idea let le live in peace sounds better coz thts wat i actually felt wen i wrote it...
thanks bhul correct kore dichhi......amar personal idea let le live in peace sounds better coz thts wat i actually felt wen i wrote it...
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